Pursuing with Purpose

This could have easily been the first blog I posted because it is so important. At the same time, it is always nice to have a reminder about the core of dating and all that jazz, so here are some things to keep in mind before jumping into the deep end.

Know what you want: Besides him being tall, dark, and handsome (how did I manage to only get one of those?), what more are you looking for in a guy? Does it matter if he is a Christian? Does it matter if he has a nice singing voice? Does it matter if he is a serial killer? All of these are important things to weigh as you spend time with your man. But let's be honest, it is pretty easy to get caught up in his eyes and say "oh, anything is ok with me", when he shoots you that charming smile. The best way to be level-headed, while still being able to enjoy being in the moment, is a list. Oh the power of a list! 

Go get the key to your journal and jot down some notes. I have found that the best thing to do is to pray about it first, and seek what you really need in a guy. These are the things that are absolutely unchangeable. This would be things like "has a heart that is completely in love with God and is still growing", or "respects his sisters and mother, so he will respect me". The most important part of this is never ever settle.  The moment you begin to settle, you are cutting yourself short. You want to base the guy off the list, not the other way around.

Along with the "Needs" section, you will also want to put a "Wants" section. This is going to be things that aren't necessary, but that you find attractive, or you want. These can be things like: "green eyes", "no divorce in the family", "has a pet turtle", "writes an advice blog for girls" (if this is your list, come see me!). No matter what they may be, put as much down as you can on the list; this way, you don't get caught up in infatuation and end up settling for less when, in reality, there is someone that fits your list perfectly. 

In both of these list be sure to include:

-Religion: They should be Christian-2 Corinthians 6:14

-Characteristics: how they interact with the world (sense of humor, low maintenance)

-Kids: If you want kids, find someone who wants the same

-The Line: You are going need to decide now where the line is going to be physically

So go ahead, take 10 minutes to put down what is most important to you, I will still be here when you get back!

Told you I would be here! Alright, now here is the hard part (don't hate me for it): you need to think of that one particular boy you’re checking out and then compare him up against the "Needs" list. Remember, the list is meant to make the right guy for you, the guy is not there to make the list. So honestly take a look as see whether you like him because he holds all of those great attributes you are looking for, or if you are just caught up in the fact that he is paying attention to you. You may not find what you want to find at that very moment, but it is well worth the wait to find someone that really fits with you. 

Remember, there are some 6,700,000,000 in the world, so there is bound to be a person who fits everything on your list. 

On a final note, remember that your list can change (and probably will). Here is the secret, be more cautious of taking things off your "Needs" list then adding. Most of the time you are going to try to compromise because the boy you like is " totally super cool,” but this is not a time for compromising. Stay strong, and find a guy that you will really want to spend the rest of your life with.

Needs: Not a serial killer,

Tommy